I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
farters have to be the big spoon...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
