I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
