Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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