i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just threw up on my dentist
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
