So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
