Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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