If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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