he wants to bone in the snuggie
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
