then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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