I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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