finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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