Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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