Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
