I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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