His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
