we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
