hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
