I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
