Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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