What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
