He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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