and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
