dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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