I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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