she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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