Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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