If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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