yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
