it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
