its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
