I'm drive I can fine osifer
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
