I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
