GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
