but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
