so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
