yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
