Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
