hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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