bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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