Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
my liver is dry heaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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