Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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