she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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