We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
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I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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