I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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