just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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