Nicole vs. Life
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
