no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
