Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
