You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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