he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
