The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
