btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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