Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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