Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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