she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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