ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
