is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
