belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
