my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
